Losing & Remembering

I have been gone from this part of my life for the past month.  I debated whether or not to share this on my blog but I decided that since I use this as a journal in a way it would be therapeutic for me to write about this.  This past month was one of the hardest months I have been through.  I lost a long-time dear friend in a tragic car accident!  It hurt...I was sad...I was confused!  It was something that I had a hard time even comprehending.  My heart ached not only for the loss of a friend but also for the horrible pain that his family, sweetheart, and loved ones felt.  It was a very raw heart ache and one that I haven't felt that much in my life.  It brought up so many life questions!

My dear friend was such a kind soul and I still question why it had to be him that left so early.  I find some peace knowing that he is all around us now.......in the rivers he use to fish, in the mountains he use to hunt, in the music he use to dance to, and the town we all live in.  I hope one day to understand all of this.  And I hope even more to get a warm hug from him again.

I have learned some lessons from him and it has also opened my eyes to some things I thought I knew before but I truly didn't.  I have been holding my two sweet boys and my amazing husband even harder and longer, I have been making sure to tell my loved ones I love them more than usual, I have been reaching out even more to friends old and new, I have healed some relationships that were stronger than I thought, and I am just ready to live life to it's absolute fullest.  My dear friend lived his life better than anyone I know....and I strive to do exactly what he did.

My dear friend.....I miss you!

"Those we love can never be more than a thought apart, for as long as there is memory, they'll live on in the heart." -Unknown