Wednesday, February 9, 2011

What is support?

I want to share with you all a poem I received during one of my Doula Training Classes.  I went home the night I received it and read it over and over again.  It really made me think about what kind of Doula I want to be and what I want to offer to mamas.  This poem also made me reflect on the support I have given and was given to me in my past and present.  I realized that this poem isn't only for mamas in labor but also for the female relationships in my life.  My mama, sister, grandmothers, aunts, girlfriends, cousins, coworkers, and all the females in my life.  It is so important to support each other and to do it the right way by always being there unconditionally.  Being surrounded by positive, encouraging, and supportive females is a necessity in life.  If you look at past and present tribes from around the world, the women of the tribes always worked together and supported each other in a generous circle of love and kindness.  I think in today's American society we need to remember our female relationships and think about the support we give them.  Can we reach out to women we don't know but that needs support?  Can we love more?  Can we support more?


Support is unconditional.
It is listening...
not judging, not telling your own story.
Support is not offering advice...
it is offering a handkerchief, a touch, a hug...caring.
We are here to help women discover what they are feeling...
not to make the feelings go away.
We are here to help a woman identify her options...
not to tell her which options to choose.
We are here to discuss steps with a woman...
not to take the steps for her.
We are here to help a woman discover her own strength...
not to rescue her and leave her still vulnerable.
We are here to help a woman discover she can help herself...
not to take responsibility for her.
We are here to help a woman learn to choose...
not to make it unnecessary for her to make difficult choices. 

Peace, love, and understanding,


  1. That is a beautiful poem. I frequently wish we lived in a society where we supported each other more. I think it is great that you are becoming a doula. I know it makes such a huge difference for a new mother... I wish that midwives and doulas were more common!

  2. Very profound, and something that can be applied to all releationships.

    Thanks for sharing:)

  3. Thank you Mrs. J and Julie for reading this post and the poem.

    The poem is something I read at least once a week to remind myself what kind of support I want to give!


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